Taking Nature Back

There was a big chapter of my life where I mostly avoided the mountains. I have PTSD and still struggle with triggers. But a few years ago, I decided to pick up a “real” camera. Then, for reasons still unknown to me, I also got a backpack and some camping gear. My theme: Take Nature Back. I view nature as a gift from God and it wasn’t okay with me that someone had taken it away.

Burrowing owl, Antelope Island

My camera was my security item. My sweetheart was my cheerleader. But success was not part of the picture for years. There were so many sleepless nights, several panic attacks, ugly flashbacks, deep bouts of depression, and many moments where I questioned my sanity and ability to continue. I still avoid spending the night in the mountains, but my story continues to inch forward and I’ve met some very kind, understanding people on the way.

I recently thought I’d try an overnighter again, and wondered if having a guide might help. We reached out to Mike (name changed), a local hiking guide and set the date. I even pushed through my panic and signed the waivers. But as the event approached I realized I needed to listen to that part of me that was not ready—to be kind to me. I felt embarrassed, but I briefly explained to Mike why I was cancelling. His reply was unexpectedly compassionate. He said, “…if one day the mountains ever call you again, I hope they feel like yours, not his (my abusers).” I have no words to describe how that phrase impacted me. If you are reading this, “Mike”, thanks again.

Since my decision to Take Back Nature, despite the complications, I have gathered new memories that include bear, elk, coyotes, bison, rabbits, owls, and more. Worry and fear literally disappear when I’m looking through the lens of my camera. I’m thrilled to call myself a professional photographer.

Do you avoid parts of your story too? What helps you the most? I pray for your success as you are brave and creative in your adventures. Our stories aren’t over yet.

I’m a Big Fan of Genes.

Closely tied to my love of photography is that of family history. Fun fact: I used to be a volunteer at the Family Search Library in Salt Lake City where I introduced people to their own family tree and helped them learn how to use the incredible free resources available to them. It was insanely fulfilling to watch people’s eyes well up with tears when they discovered the pieces to the puzzle of their own stories—the people who came before.

Initially it may seem odd to connect creative photography with genealogy. Most people see the search for our roots as historical or bookish. But can it also be artistic? If you’ve ever gone to RootsTech, you’ll remember the moving stories they tell of how people discover where they come from via visual storytelling and stirring musical scores. And I bet you can think of a time when you discovered a painting, song, poem, or story by a grandmother or uncle that fills a gap you didn’t know was there. As Sean Critchfield said, “Art doesn’t just live in the artist. It travels. It connects us while reminding us that we’re not alone…” That’s what I want to create—art that lives on in the lives of others. My photography is my art, and I am excited to tell stories with it. Maybe I can tell your story.

I hope you’ll join me as I officially begin working with the RootsTech media team. This blog will be the written score and my camera will be the instrument by which I play that song for you. Thanks for listening. I sure appreciate it.

Learn more here.